Out of nowhere, she asked me, "Didn't Jesus say to love your neighbor as yourself?"
We talked about that, and about how everyone is our neighbor, not just the people we pick and choose. We discussed how loving and showing love doesn't mean liking, or even accepting everything about a person, but that we still are to love.
We have all been in that place at one point or another where we love someone, but we really struggle with accepting things about them. Sometimes it's not big stuff, just attitude or how they raise their kids, but other times it's pretty big. Maybe they are gay and living with a partner, or maybe they have had an abortion, or maybe they have a drastically different faith path than you. How do we continue to show love to people who see things so incredibly morally and spiritually different? You see, Christians aren't told to respect their neighbor, they are called to LOVE their neighbor. There is a big difference.
Respect: to hold in esteem or honor: I cannot respect a cheat.
to show regard or consideration for: to respect someone's rights.
to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with: to respect a person's privacy.
to relate or have reference to.
None of those things means that we love someone. We can respect without love, and we can love without respect.
I can love you, but that doesn't mean that if I feel strongly against something you are going to do that I will respect you and stay quiet. I will speak out, because I love you. I will interfere in the sense that my love for you and my belief in what I stand for obligates me to speak out. Does that mean I'm going to hound you about it for all of eternity? No, but it does mean I will continue to stand on my beliefs and love you in spite of yours.
The problem that arises is that "friendships" typically don't withstand the pressure very well. It's sad, but true. Which is why most people, hiding behind the "respect"factor, just stay quiet and go along and don't say anything about how they really feel or believe in regards to a situation or a lifestyle. But that isn't love, is it? Love obligates us to do the right thing even if the person we are standing up to doesn't share our beliefs. It obligates us to be who we are, otherwise we are hypocrites and liars. So many people claim to leave Christianity or churches because of hypocrisy. This is a BIG part of that. You say you believe something, you profess a faith, but you don't live it. Will people get angry with you at times, and will you lose friends? Yes, but it won't be because of what you said, it will be because you didn't agree. Most people just can't handle maintaining relationships with people who don't agree with their fundamental life choices.
It is unfortunate, really. Christians who live the commandment of love are the most hated people on the planet. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matt 22:37-39. Think of the implications of that. Love is not relativistic like our society, but it is absolute. I can't say "I love you, but go on and destroy yourself, because I respect you I'll stand aside." I have to say, "because I love you, I have to try to stand in front of this train that is barreling down the tracks toward you and protect you from the eminent destruction." If you choose to throw me off the tracks and die, because of your determination to destroy yourself , at least I did what I knew was right in standing up for what I believed. I loved you to the point of being willing to sacrifice myself.
We are hated, because we go against the flow. That's ok, we may swimming against the current, but when it's all said and done, we will be stronger for it.
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